Should You Stay Or Should You Go

Some people like to stay single. Others are looking for a companion and a long term relationship and many are just looking for fun. A zillion of dating applications can attest to that. Falling in love is easy. Staying single is easy. Staying in love – not so easy. Having a heathy relationship may take some serious work over the time. You decide whether you want to put a work in it or walk away. So what is that we should be looking for in our partner? I said before, there are four must have:

  1. Attraction
  2. Respect
  3. Trust
  4. Open Communication

Here are some basic things that have nothing to do with your good looks or even with the attraction level between you two. If more than two are missing and your partner is not willing to address those with you, your relationship will start to build a resentment that will lead to potentially bigger problems such as financial issues, cheating, abusive behavior. It goes without saying that relationships like that will ultimately fail.

Your green signals:

  • I am treated with respect.
  • He or she doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do.
  • He or she never puts you down.
  • He or she doesn’t get angry if you spend time with your friends or family.
  • He or she listens to your ideas and is able to compromise with you.
  • He or she isn’t excessively negative.
  • He or she shares some of your interests and supports you in pursuing what you love.
  • We are not afraid to share our thoughts and feelings.
  • We are comfortable around our friends and family.
  • He or she is proud of my accomplishments and successes.
  • We respects each other boundaries and do not abuse technology.
  • He or she doesn’t require you to “check in” or need to know where you are all the time.
  • He or she is caring and honest.
  • He or she doesn’t pressure you to do things that you don’t want to do.
  • He or she doesn’t constantly accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful.
  • We encourages each other in or quest for personal and professional success.
  • He or she doesn’t threaten you or make you feel scared, for example threatening to leave.
  • We understand the importance of healthy relationships.


A Girl With Two Homes

One night, in early December, my mother came into my room and said that she needed to talk. I was half asleep. As I was rubbing my eyes and trying to wake up, I saw tears on her face. That worried me a lot, because my mother seldom cried. Her face was tired and she looked smaller than she normally does. I thought that she lost too much weight.
She talked about a little girl that had two homes. One home was with her dad and the other was with her mom. And both dad and mom lived with somebody, so the girl was so lucky to actually have two dads and two moms. There were also plenty of toys and her room looked beautiful in both houses that she lived in.
I listened to her story and I did not understand. I did not know how that girl could be happy. I only had one mom and one dad. I did not want two moms and two dads. When I woke up in the morning, my mom was not at home. My dad was preparing the breakfast and getting me ready for the school. That evening my mom wasn’t home, and the next evening and the next. My dad said that she had to travel to London with her friends. They worked there on some project for her job and that I was too young to understand. I missed her so much. At night, I would hug her robe that still smelled like her.
My dad introduced me to a nice lady, who looked nothing like my mom. She was kind to me and took me shopping a lot. She was very pretty. I was growing up thinking of my mom and how London must have been a great place to live in, because she was not returning.
One day, many days later, the bell rang and my mom was at the door! She had a big smile on her face and she looked so happy. She hugged me and kissed me a lot. She said we no longer needed to stay apart and now I could visit her as much as I wanted to.
I remembered the story that my mom told me that night before she left. Now it all made sense.I learned that it was possible to have two homes and still be happy. It takes many years to build, but it can be done.

When You Agree to Divorce

Ugly faces of divorce:
1. Fighting over the child custody and visitations
2. Depression and feeling of failure
3. Inability to agree on how to parent your children

Let go on fighting with one another. You will not get your marriage back, but you can make your divorce less painful. People can agree on almost everything, so why not you two? End your divorce in dignity with the consent decree and not with the judge having to make those decisions for you.

Easier said than done? So here is my story:

Many years later, after the difficult divorce, many hours of counseling and several years of argument, I asked myself why did it take so long to let go? The pain is gone, mistakes forgiven and kids are big. We can still have a good laugh, here and there, when we meet for a coffee or have to make important decisions for our kids. We might say, after bitter years of turmoil first while still together and later while we were divorcing, then we might make better friends that spouses to one another. Time heals wounds and people change. Good memories overrule the bad ones. Kids grow up fast and they have a good tendency to forgive. It really is not that bad.

5 Phases in Divorce

5 Phases in Divorce

Experts say there are 5 phases in divorces.
• denial and/or shock
• bargaining
• anger
• guilt and sadness
• acceptance
While majority will go through the phases, not necessary in the same order, you should not have to worry about documents that you need to fill out for the Court. I can help you regain the confidence and handle all your paperwork.

The FBI Crime Clock

• One murder every 33.9 minutes
• One forcible rape every 5.8 minutes
• One robbery every 1.3 minutes
• One property crime every 3.1 seconds
• One motor vehicle theft every 27.1 seconds
I can help you prepare your documents if you are a self – litigant, or direct you to a lawyer when you need one. Call or text Debbie @ 602-769-1585

Paralegal in Arizona


In the State of Arizona, Anthem Legal can help you with the legal documents such as motion, petition, law suit pleadings and any many other documents and contracts that you may need. Many individuals have contacted Anthem Legal for help with Bankruptcy, Divorce, Deeds and Estate Planning. Anthem Legal is Arizona Online Document Preparation Service. Why online? Because many of Anthem Legal customers prefer to save time and money? Call me at 1-602-769-1585, or email

Help With Divorce and Child Custody in AZ

Child_Custody_Court_Battle_Showing_the_Parents_Fighting_over_Their_Child_in_a_Court_Room_Picture_Stock_Photo_Stock_Photograph_111113-135219-502001At Anthem Legal we understand that this may be the most stressful time in your life. We can make the formal part easy by professionaly preparing your documents.

About us: Anthem Legal Services is Arizona’s Online Legal Document Service Provider ( You can reach us Statewide: 888-411-7739

Divorce and Impact on Children


Suggested reading by AnthemParaegal: Amato, Paul R.; Keith, Bruce – Psychological Bulletin, Vol 110(1), Jul 1991, 26-46.


Meta-analysis involved 92 studies that compared children living in divorced single-parent families with children living in continuously intact families on measures of well-being. Children of divorce scored lower than children in intact families across a variety of outcomes, with the median effect size being .14 of a standard deviation. For some outcomes, methodologically sophisticated studies yielded weaker effect sizes than did other studies. In addition, for some outcomes, more recent studies yielded weaker effect sizes than did studies carried out during earlier decades. Some support was found for theoretical perspectives emphasizing parental absence and economic disadvantage, but the most consistent support was found for a family conflict perspective. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)


Self – Service Desk

courts caLegal system is open to the Public. If you have taken time to research your case and would like to represent yourself in the Court, Anthem Legal can help you prepare legal documents, such as motion, complaint, stipulation, petition, summons etc…We know court procedures. Your documents will be delivered via e-mail or by mail with the complete instructions and next steps on “How to Represent Yourself” in Arizona.

About us: Anthem Legal Services is Arizona’s Online Legal Document Service Provider ( You can reach us Statewide: 888-411-7739


Child Custody and Support in AZ

KIDS 2You know what is in the best interest of your child and are ready to work together and visitation schedule and child support. Everyone has access to the State Courts. When it comes to putting your documents together and explain court procedures, Anthem Legal can help.

About us: Anthem Legal Services is Arizona’s Online Legal Document Service Provider ( You can reach us Statewide: 888-411-7739


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