Have you found yourself struggling in your relationship and frequently thinking about the divorce? You both may or may not have attempted counseling to improve your marriage and yet not much has changed. Here are some of the red flags and the most frequent symptoms that my clients have experienced.
Psychological Driven Red Flags:
- You, or your partner, withdraw during arguments – passive aggressive behavior
- Trust Issues because you were hurt in the past
- Taking anger out on your partner
- Holding onto the past
- Not being empathetic
- Not expressing your gratitude
Notice that passive – aggressive behavior of one or both partners is almost an instant relationship killer and for any long term relationship has to be addressed, if observed in partners. While psychological barriers often require professional counseling, some of behavior driven I was able to successfully address in my mediation practice.
Behavior Driven Red Flags:
- Different goals in life
- Talking only about yourself – no exchange
- Unwilling to compromise
- Seeing your partner as inferior or vice versa
- You love alcohol, but your partner doesn’t
- Your relationship is full of secret
- One of you is never take blame
- Too much intimacy
- A big life event rocked the relationship
- Not trusting each other with money
- Holding your partner to unrealistic standards
- Not dating your partner any more
- Comparing your relationship with everyone else’s
- Not listening
Some of the red flags are easy to work on and we all can improve. For example, becoming a better listener or learning how to express our gratitude may not be such a big deal. Learning how to trust on the other hand can take a long time and effort, especially when there are underlying psychological issues. I have worked successfully with my clients to overcome the issues that led to conflict. Even when the divorce is inevitable, our goal is consent of both parties.
Anthem Paralegal 