Unresolved anger is # 1 enemy of love.
The root cause of this anger is usually in childhood or within our formative age and it has not been addressed until adulthood. The angry person simply shuts down and does not allow to be loved or to love. That person will distance himself/herself while in denial. This anger is typical quiet and hidden. An angry partner does not appear angry, frequently denies any anger and even makes the other partner responsible for the distance in relationship (finding faults in partner). The goal is to protect an angry person’s feelings, who was once hurt and now will not allow anybody close to their heart.
As a result, unresolved anger keeps both partners in relationship equally miserable and is a most common cause of marriages ending up in divorce.
Are you getting mad over little things, interruption, being a complainer, holding a grudge, turning your face red, being overly sensitive, being cold-hearted? Those are signs of visible anger. A hidden anger is often unnoticed.
What can we do to find a way out of unresolved anger and rebuild our relationship?
Defining offense, allowing time to grieve, understanding the offender, releasing the offender, looking for the pearls in the offense, putting feelings in writing, reaching out to the offender are all equally important phases in overcoming anger. Fears and unfulfilled expectations often define anger. Understanding the offender explains the side that we are unaware of, unless we are willing to embrace it in a process of overcoming anger that we feel. Anger is destructive emotion. Saying no to anger is saying no to misery and opening heart to freedom, inner peace and happiness.